Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Two roads diverged

I've never considered life to be this predestined fabrication that we have no control over. Yet, with the way things seem to be leading me towards possibly the greatest adventure of my life. I wonder, what does Fate have in store for me? These recent days have been ones with the following endeavors, staying up late at night looking at job websites, and apartment hunting. I've got just a little over two weeks to solidify a journey. And I'm not even sure I can. Doing so would probably entail that I finally go someplace, where ideally I'll finally feel at home. And that thought alone is something so desirable, that I almost forget how close the sword of Damocles swings over my head.

A good friend of mine posted on a social networking site that I would be leaving with him on his own adventure. As a result the first thing I thought about doing was wringing his neck, till I realized how right it feels to say that I'm leaving. I'm leaving, and I really want to.

My current song of choice is Put Your Recrods On by Corinne Bailey Rae. The lyrics and subtle jazz really bring about that sense of change. Especially the last two lines "you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow." Talk about striking a chord in my sense of self. My main reservations for wanting to leave are simple. Here, I have a job, I have an apartment. I have stability in my rather unstable life. For the first time, I've actually felt like I'm Home. This city has it's quirks, and it's not somewhere where I want to be forever, but right now, it's served the purpose of allowing me to develop further as a person and a writer. Yet, recently, everything I write is stagnant. I've become too comfortable here, that I'm unable to push past this.

Until further notice, if anyone asks, I'm leaving. That's the end of that.

1 comment:

  1. <3 so proud and happy and excited! you're going to do this! and i would advise you that if you find an apartment but not a job, still go. most jobs are not posted online, i'm sure you'll be able to find a job in two days in nyc that you like a lot more and has the same pay-to-cost-of-living ratio as THAT PLACE in rochester :)
    sooo when can i buy you a drink to celebrate? i'm leaving town friday and coming back the following friday