Saturday, July 31, 2010

Recreating my Work: Redefining the Non-for-Profit

In the next few days, weeks, whatever, to come. I will be changing the concept of No Profit at the Non-for-Profit. Rethinking it's meaning and purpose. I want to start a podcast soon with this title that strings into the blog. But before I can do that, I need to know exactly what it is that I will be focusing on. Any ideas or general interests would be greatly appreciated if you wish to share.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Lets be civil with Civil Unions

I'm always coming out against Gay Marriage, for the obvious reason that what we are fighting for is, to be frank. Pointless. Marriage is nothing more a religious term, and in a personal opinion, it should never have taken on a political role at all. This country was built on, or at least it was constructed on the ideal of separation of church and state. As American, I actively believe in this ideal for the obvious reason, that when you have such a multitude of cultures and ideals mixing together you can't let the religions be the forefront of creation of laws and policies. This is not to say that religion has no place in government. Beliefs are powerful tools though, often used by the wrong powers for wrong deeds. The ideas of religion however, the striving to be better, creating a stable and reliable community, commandments about virtuosity, these ideas that seem to be at the base of all religions are what we should be using.

At the beginning I said I come out against gay marriage, and to be frank. I do. I believe that marriage is nothing but a principle created by Religions. This is not to say that it is not a good thing. But honestly, this is a fight that we can't win legitimately. We're forcing our own beliefs on another religion. Something that humanity seems bent on doing no matter what the costs. It is not the Churchs that we should be fighting, which is exactly what we are. Rather we need to fight for a change in what the government is doing. Civil Unions, same rights as a married couple,

To be honest, what we are fighting right now is not a fight for rights, but rather a linguistic battle with a group that is so set in their ways that trying to alter their vernacular now is something that we can't win. It's very much like the grandparent who still rattles off with racist colloquialisms, but we all smile and nod, because they are set in their ways and we understand that we can't change them.

Taking a Turn, for Better or Worse

I've been contemplating about my blog as a whole. No Profit at the Non-for-Profit. To be honest, the title was possibly one of the greatest feats of creative thinking I've had in regards to giving something substance. For over six months, this was my way of tackling grievances and complications in my life. It served that purpose greatly. Recently though, I've found that writing about those things in my current environment are no longer as therapeutic as they once were. For a while I considered just dropping the blog all together, since I'm not currently working at any non-for-profit. Yet, reading the header made me realize that this is still a manner to which could be useful.

I've been going on on how much I was pleased with my public transport posting. Mainly because it was one of the few posts that wasn't about me directly, but rather a grievance I have that because of this, many people are affected. So with much thinking, I've decided to keep this blog going in that respect. Speaking more of ideals, rather than of me personally. My self-imposed narcism through this blog has reached it's conclusion. Granted it's also due to the lack of vodka, gin, whiskey, and any other creative juice that I was usually afflicted with while I wrote this blog about myself.

Starting today, this blog will no longer be directly about me, but rather about about where I think things went wrong, where things need improvement, and how bad ideas stay bad.

As a last update on my current narcissistic gamble, I've started work on a story, that I have no idea where it will go, but I foresee a lot of potential with this body of work, as such most of my creative juices will be channeled there, while my more expository and logical thinking will go towards this blog. Wish me luck in whichever way you choose, but to be honest, I would love a bottle of emergency gin to hide in my closet.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Distancing Myself

I've come to a rather hasty, albeit as far as I can tell, necessary conclusion about myself. I pine for things, a lot of things. Most of which are sadly out of my grasp at the moment. Wanting to go back to NYC, wishing I wasn't at home, but most of all, to be frank. It's hard to look at your facebook page, notice you've been invited to roughly 12 different events, and then realize that you can't go to or do any of them due to geographic constraints. What makes it so hard being home is that, no matter what, geography is still a pertinent issue, as I don't really remember how to drive, nor do I like to.

As such I've found it necessary to distance myself from this oppressive reality that I seem to have fallen into to. I'm sure this sounds like a lot of griping and pointless whining. Do not be fooled, it is. Right now, where I am in my life, I can't keep looking back and regretting what I no longer have. I can't just take a quick gander, cause all I realize is that, right now, right now where I am, I'm not very happy.

In response to this feeling I've decided to stop using major forms of social networking. Mainly my facebook page. I find that trying to continue on with facebook at the moment is a rather unhealthy method of tethering me to the past. Rather than trying to grow and expound on myself as a person and writer. To this effect in exactly one week I will be shutting off my facebook page in an effort to help alleviate this longing and rather distressing feeling of regret. If you need to get in contact with me, I will have aim, twitter, as well as my blog or email. I ask that you if you wish to keep in contact you use the previously listed contact methods in order to keep in touch. Otherwise, I don't want to say goodbye, but in some ways, that is what this is.

Farewell to the void that is the internet. That swirling mass of knowledge and mayhem that has not served me so well in the past two weeks.

Minimum Wage Cavalier (No wage at the current moment though)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Wrong Turn At Albuquerque

These last few weeks from my last posting have been, lets say, the most depressing and draining weeks of my life thus far. This even beats the high school years out the window. Currently I'm back home in west Texas dealing with a lot of unresolved issues. Most of which I now realize will never be solved, and I should just learn to keep quiet and move on. I had high hopes for this trip being short, sweet and simple. Get in, get out, and get back to my life. Sadly, sometimes, what should be, and what happens, aren't always the same.

Sad to say, NYC will be nothing more than a lingering memory, as due to lack of funds, and a lot of complicated issues that frankly I can't involved in such a public forum, I'll be staying at home for an extended period of time, that no matter how I look at it, is already FAR too long.

It's hard admitting that something that was so monumental to me, is not out of my grasp. Just when you finally feel at home, when you feel that life is finally starting to let up, the worst happens.

I'm doing my best to be less whiney, since a dear friend told me, my last posting was by far my best. I won't lie, the clarity and fortitude behind that writing is something that I aspire to do all the time. Sadly this blog isn't just about getting my voice out. This medium has been my form of therapy for a while now. Considering I don't have healthcare to afford sessions or medication. So naturally I have to do something in order to alleviate my stress, anxiety, and overall annoyance with my current situation.

NYC is not out of my view however, be sure of that. Regardless of what is happening now. The only place I'm moving to after this is back to NYC where I belong. Two days ago, i went for a drive with my parents, and some young punk in a mustang cut us off. I leaned my head out the window and started swearing and calling him all sorts of obscenities. Most of which my mother had never heard of. Felt good to bring a bit of East Coast to this South-western desert. This has never been home to me sadly. Sometimes it's hard to look at your parents and let them know that there are times, when it's easier to say you love being here. Truth is? I don't. But I'm strong enough, I hope, to make it through.