Surviving on a Shoe Shine Boy's Salary....

I shall begin with some ground rules.

1. The company will be referred to only as THAT PLACE, not really due to any animosity towards it, but merely to vent out unnecessary and possibly unsolicited aggression.

2. I will write at least one article per week. No less, but preferably more.

3. No real names will ever be given, I'm more than certain I signed some kind of waiver to avoid problems with this sort of thing.

4. I will not just be talking about work, but also venture into my personal life at times, if this becomes troublesome however I will be forced to stop and stick towards just work though.

And here we go.


It was no surprise to me when I signed my name to the employment agreement that i was inherently selling my soul. I'm a hard worker, and find it difficult to say no when in all honesty I was struggling to pay anything off, let alone just survive for a week without hoping I was invited to lunch with friends or someone. I could have perhaps saved myself some trouble if I had cut out about 75% of my usual alcohol consumption, but as you will find, either by my actions or direct relation, my alcoholism is one of those "adorable" little quirks that just make me me.

After working for one month at THAT PLACE I quickly realized that while I made enough to stabilize my rather shaky living situation I was going to have to learn how to watch my spending. I'm better at it, but far from perfect. But regardless of that, I find the time to go out and enjoy myself, even though I make almost nothing. The one problem with THAT PLACE is that I make just a few cents higher than the national minimum wage, which is honestly a laughable number since looking at how the world works, yeah, no, nobody can survive on that. Work two jobs, and yes you can live a bit more comfortably, then go crazy when the lack of sleep, relaxation and social time steadily creeps up on you erodes your soul like tartar.

Why do I make so little? The main reason being that non for profits don't have funds. As I'm sure the CEO would say, we are there to help people and blah blah, something, something, aide? As you can see, my enthusiasm and devotion is only as livid as to how full the glass is.

But here I am. Almost six months after working for THAT PLACE and wouldn't you know it? Still poor, a raise in sight after perhaps two to three years of certifiable slavery. Thankfully I got plenty of vodka and gin to alleviate my stress. Drinking plays a heavy part in my method of therapy. There are just somethings that you can tell a random hallucination that no one else would understand. No I don't drink to that point, but sometimes you have to use absurdity to get by. Believe me, THAT PLACE has plenty of absurdity. It's no wonder they hired me.