Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Crazies on the Bus Don't Shut Up

I thought I'd try something different and just state the problem of taking public transportation when you know you're already better than half the people around you. I'm not saying I'm a good person, but I'm at least in a much more stable state of mind. Over the years of taking public transit I've found you really have three options, screw it and walk, suffer and take the bus, or find people who can help you out in your hour of need. Used all of those options, usually opting for number 1. So onto business.

1. Everything around you smells oddly of bitter dreams, cigarettes and MD 20/20. Either these smells have been trapped forever into the awful upholstry or something, but honestly this is a huge problem, when the very air you breath seems to have a funky flavor behind it. And you know for damn certain that it's not you.

2. Phone conversations are never just between two people. Recently I've learned that Quinisha has been getting cheated on by Brock, but that's okay, cause she's cheating on him with Laron. And Gwendolyne, quiet gwendolyne is doing naughty naughty things with the vibrate feature on her phone.

3. Children are screwed up because the only contact with other adults outside of their parents and teachers, are the nut-jobs on the bus. "High School huh, yeah I tried that for a while, wasn't for me." Yes taht was an actual statement. Not sure if he just left the penal colony or what, but they need him back.

4. Final reason I'm not meant for the bus, simple, potential doesn't need to swim with crap. I go on about how I've got all this potential all the time, but never do I feel more assured than taking public transportation. Those of us that rely on intellect, wit, and clarity need to understand one thing, the common man is both brass and pathetic. The reason that so many of them are in trouble is for the basic fact that if we're lucky we won't have to deal with them.

So naturally as I get off to go change into my uniform, I get to serve these weirdos as them come into THAT PLACE. Such is the irony of potential.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Losing Ground

It's important when you have a shaky life to have good company by your side. Whether that be family, friends, relationships or branding. Sad to say, I lost a piece of that when someone I truly cared about called it to a halt.

This was not a single sided thing mind you. I was more than aware that things were not going as we both as planned. Yet, when we are in lxxx it's hard to ignore those honest truths. So we meander about, mucking up our emotional stability in the hopes of creating some form of structure to what could have been better referred to as a suspension bridge with only one row to suspend it. Even now as I sit and type this posting in my dark, rather cold room, all I can do is think about how much I miss them, and how much it stinks that things ended up this way.

In my rather deteriorating state I felt the need to wander over to the local liquor store and purchase about 60$ worth of wine and liquor just to satisfy the growing void slowly consuming my sanity. Inching and wrenching through, just pretty much destroying me from the inside out. I almost equate it to a flesh-eating-virus, if I would be so lucky, cause then I would have immense physical pain to at least balance out this emotional scaring I seem to be developing.

Last night, after a rather painful day at work, I retreated to a friends house, where we acted like children, consumed food, played video games, and I honestly didn't think about the person in question at all. I had so much fun, I was almost a little pissed that as I was walking home I cried at the fact that I had forgotten about them.

This post is to all my friends who have been monumental in keeping me grounded. Rum, whiskey, Vodka, Gin, you guys are the greatest. To the rest of you, you know who you are, thanks a million people.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Giving Yourself Credit (Especially When the Bank Won't)

As one of my good friends would say, nose raised, with just the right of silver-spoon-fed inflection, "It doesn't matter if you have money as long as you act like it." Thank goodness he has a suburban housewife vehicle since it truly is the only way to go shoe shopping, a past time that I'm beginning to become so good at that I can pretty much walk in, identify exactly what's new and what's not in just under a 24 hr span.

One of the privileges of working for a non-for-profit is the sudden realization that not only do you have any money, but you won't either. Saving up for just a night on the town, shopping spree, what have you is such a work of diligence and desire that I sometimes wonder how I either afford my drinks, or my shoes. Granted I wonder how my fiscal ventures will be once I actually do get a profitable job, or I take the sucker way out and apply for grad school. I'm applying on the side just in case the dream job doesn't come along.

As of right now I have only a few credit cards, and want to keep it that way, since it's a miracle that I pay these off at all. Believe me when I say that it's a BLOODY MIRACLE that the minimum payments are even met at times. What with the shopping, the eating, the necessities of LIVING. That does include liquor, despite what you might think.

Where is this whole thought actually going? Simple, working for nothing makes you want to live for more. The sad fact is that as I've come to realize I can't really do a lot of the stuff I do, I'm still going to do them. Life is about living, which I intend to do, it just so happens that living also costs money.

Regardless of what you are doing for your vocation, it's always important to take the time out of the day to pour that glass of wine, buy that rack of lamb for that special someone. Spend frivolous amounts of money on christmas gifts even when you shouldn't. Working for nothing makes you appreciate everything, for the simple fact that you shouldn't have it, but need it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Man that's Whack, Wack, Wac? I Don't Speak Urchin

Due in part to being in the north, stricken by lake effect snow, and terrible temperatures that honestly make me cry at the realization that I walk through this mess to get to work, I do feel a sudden connection to everyone else walking around me. This of course is quickly stamped out when I watch these people hovel across the slush and snow, we're all cold, we're all freezing, but you're the one keeping us that way.

In regards to the colder temperatures THAT PLACE has recently been "plagued" by a larger amount of guests and people wishing to use the facilities. This is of course fine since they pay for this privilege and I'm not about to stop them unless they follow the rules. What I am trying to stop is people trying to use THAT PLACE for free. Yes, that's right people, the public still wants a way to take advantage of a corporation that is there to help them. SHOCKER. I'm aware, but when you work for it, and on those rare occasions that you remember that you like your job, it's infuriating that think that some people honestly have no conscience about this action.

One instance would be when a couple of street urchins, decided to stroll right into the facility. Stating they were there to practice for their school. Now, being the model employee that I am, I made sure that this was correct since one, schools were out, and two they only practice in the fall. Naturally I inquired as to who they needed to talk to, and they spit out some name. John Jones, yes they actually said that name. And no any street urchins reading this, I am not going to fall for some asinine excuse like that. So regrettably I had to kick them out on a very VERY cold day.

But, the whole point of this rant, you may be wondering? It's simple, those delightful little children who probably ran home and complained about how awful we treated them started bitching and moaning. Man that's whack, or however you spell it. I was seriously taken aback at the audacity. And it's not just street urchins, but other people who try and use THAT PLACE for nothing. We already go through enough trouble offering grant assistance, which will be a subject of much grievance I assure you, so no it is not okay to use THAT PLACE for free.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Getting Off at Work

I usually find myself to be an optimal employee. Perfect, far from it, but I'm by far a lot more competent and gracious than some. This however does not seem to be the case, as of recently I've had not one, but multiple people tell me that I've become rather cynical and bitter about my job. Shocking I know, but honestly this irks me for a few reasons.

1. Despite the amount of complaining and drinking that my job will often lead me to, I actually do enjoy working for THAT PLACE. I'll say what I will about the terrible wages and lack of hiring full time, but honestly I've found myself actually enjoying going to work.

2. Yes, I am sarcastic, it's probably my only redeeming and most notable characteristic about me. However, I can assure you that when I work I keep myself very professional. I pride myself at doing the best I can, even if it means getting paid pennies when I should at least be getting nickels.

3. I don't enjoy being told off by some entitled person who has never worked customer service before.

That might be my greatest grievance of all, not so much that he's making accusations about my actions at work, but rather that he feels he has the right to bully me, just cause he can. Not everyone has ever had to actually work customer service, call them elite, arrogant, pompous, privileged, whatever. But in truth, everyone should work customer service. If only to be shown the proper way to talk to people.

I'm happy to say that I still have a job, despite my sincere desire to give him a piece of my mind. For those that know me in real life, I'm sure you are aware that had this job not been a major concern, I would have been honest in my response. Looked him straight in the eye. "Why yes, I do get off on with-holding. Anyone got a cigarette, cause I'm just about spent?"

Surviving on a Shoe Shine Boy's Salary....

I shall begin with some ground rules.

1. The company will be referred to only as THAT PLACE, not really due to any animosity towards it, but merely to vent out unnecessary and possibly unsolicited aggression.

2. I will write at least one article per week. No less, but preferably more.

3. No real names will ever be given, I'm more than certain I signed some kind of waiver to avoid problems with this sort of thing.

4. I will not just be talking about work, but also venture into my personal life at times, if this becomes troublesome however I will be forced to stop and stick towards just work though.

And here we go.

It was no surprise to me when I signed my name to the employment agreement that i was inherently selling my soul. I'm a hard worker, and find it difficult to say no when in all honesty I was struggling to pay anything off, let alone just survive for a week without hoping I was invited to lunch with friends or someone. I could have perhaps saved myself some trouble if I had cut out about 75% of my usual alcohol consumption, but as you will find, either by my actions or direct relation, my alcoholism is one of those "adorable" little quirks that just make me me.

After working for one month at THAT PLACE I quickly realized that while I made enough to stabilize my rather shaky living situation I was going to have to learn how to watch my spending. I'm better at it, but far from perfect. But regardless of that, I find the time to go out and enjoy myself, even though I make almost nothing. The one problem with THAT PLACE is that I make just a few cents higher than the national minimum wage, which is honestly a laughable number since looking at how the world works, yeah, no, nobody can survive on that. Work two jobs, and yes you can live a bit more comfortably, then go crazy when the lack of sleep, relaxation and social time steadily creeps up on you erodes your soul like tartar.

Why do I make so little? The main reason being that non for profits don't have funds. As I'm sure the CEO would say, we are there to help people and blah blah, something, something, aide? As you can see, my enthusiasm and devotion is only as livid as to how full the glass is.

But here I am. Almost six months after working for THAT PLACE and wouldn't you know it? Still poor, a raise in sight after perhaps two to three years of certifiable slavery. Thankfully I got plenty of vodka and gin to alleviate my stress. Drinking plays a heavy part in my method of therapy. There are just somethings that you can tell a random hallucination that no one else would understand. No I don't drink to that point, but sometimes you have to use absurdity to get by. Believe me, THAT PLACE has plenty of absurdity. It's no wonder they hired me.

Opening sentiments.

Here in lies a tale, nothing overly dramatic, nothing overly funny. Just the word and thought of an individual working for a local non for profit organization and the random and sometimes ludicrous happenings that go on.

To start, I will not now, or ever directly mention the organizations name. I can tell you that it is a rather large organization that is focused on family values. Having multiple locations nationwide, and working at the front desk, I intend to vent my frustrations and grievances about my situation. No this does not mean I will be complaining about my company, nor the people that we service. Although they might be mentioned from time to time. Coworkers will be sparingly mentioned as a need for reference and nothing more.

Why am I doing this? Honestly it's for my own sanity. Having recently graduated from a "prestigious" University, and having my own grievances about the world realized. You quickly find that while a college degree is all fine and dandy, to be quiet honest, you're better off with toilet paper from the public library that you scribbled a few notes on. So in short, this is me finding a way to be creative with the fact that I'm working for just above minimum wage to keep the labor lawyers out of reach, with the only incentive being that while I have job security, I don't have fiscal flexibility.

How will I be doing this? Simple, I will write, theoretically people will read. In one years time, since I don't foresee any other prospects opening up any time soon for me, I will be describing, venting and planning for better implementations towards a company that ranks me, in terms of necessity and value as a chair or other piece of moveable furniture. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, shall we start?